CHART TOPPERS - January 2005
Well, here we are. The first month of a sparkly bright new year draws to a close, and some shiny new faces are topping the charts. 
The Billboard 200 integrates sales in the top popular genres, and sitting high and pretty on top of it is Green Day, whose American
Idiot is setting the pace in the field of modern rock. Billie Joe Armstrong and his buds may be a few years older, but they still exude the snotnose punkster sass that made them alt-rock darlings in the 90s. Striking a blow for hip hop, the alliterately named Eminem comes in at number two, with his well-received Encore. Behind him, representing country music, Shania
Twain's Greatest Hits collection shines brightly, and the four spot is taken by an urban legend. John Legend, to be exact. The key-banger for Janet Jackson, Kanye West, and other top music makers released his first studio album, Get
Lifted, late last year, and now the record buying throng has indeed lifted it into the pantheon. Filling out the top five is Crunk
Juice, a brimming jug of mutated rap from Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz. Bottoms up.
The Billboard Country Album chart is topped by Greatest Hits sets. Shania Twain's leads off, with Toby Keith's at her heels, and George Strait's 50 Big Ones in the number four position. Just ahead of him Feels Like Today by Rascal Flatts holds third place, and Gretchen Wilson's rollicking Here For The Party parties on at number five, as the happy hoopdedoo goes into its 37th week. And speaking of longevity, let's have a round of applause for Kenny Chesney's When The Sun Goes Down. Just two weeks shy of a full year on the chart, it rocks gently on the number ten cloud. Nice work, Kenny; beam on into 2005!
The biggest selling album on the web is U2's How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, according to Billboard's Internet Sales chart. Soundtracks command the next two positions: the special edition of The Phantom of the Opera in second, and the wonderfully eclectic pastiche that adorns first-time director Zack Braff's wonderful Garden State claiming third. Green Day's American Idiot is no slouch at number four, and then, taking a hard screeching left, we find Da Exorcist Returns by Evil Pimp, just pimpin' away in fifth place.
Single Servings
Popular tracks across the board are reflected in the Billboard Hot 100, which indicates a definite urban slant this week. Mario's Let Me Love You rides high at numero uno, followed by 1,2 Step, by Ciara, featuring Missy Elliot. Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz are at number three with their album cut Lovers And Friends (featuring Ludacris and 2004's music award emperor Usher). Number four is Soldier, by Destiny's Child, and Snoop Dogg and his pal Pharrell hang in at number five with Drop It Like It's Hot, which song buyers have, ironically, refused to drop. The week's Greatest Gainer in sales is 50 Cent's revival of the classic club anthem Disco Inferno, currently in seventh place. Burn, baby, burn.
Darryl Worley leads the Country Singles parade with his Awful, Beautiful Life. At number two is You're My Better Half by Keith Urban. (Hey! Any chance of a crossover country/hiphop project by Keith Urban and John Legend? You could call it... umm... Keith 'n' John! Just asking.) Brad Paisley clocks in at number three with Mud On The Tires, followed by Rascal Flatts' Bless The Broken Road. At number five is the latest from party-friendly redneck gal Gretchen Wilson, When I Think About Cheatin'.
In the court of head bangers, Green Day held sway. Their Boulevard of Broken Dreams topped the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks chart, with Papa Roach's Scarsat number two. Cold, by Crossfade, came in third, and Jet's Look What You've Done and The Killers' Mr. Brightside round out the top five. On its way up: the latest featured track from U2's How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb, the hard-charging All Because of You, which is in the number six slot and rising like a slice of nicely burnt toast.
I've Got A Little List
I would be remiss, I say (even though I am rather vague as to exactly what that entails), if I did not devote the January Official 3-D Big List to my resolutions for the New Year. (Strictly regarding my writing on this site, y'unnerstan'. My struggle to give up Oreos, US Magazine, and Baywatch reruns are nobody's business.) And so, out of my blind, irrational fear of remissitude (which, incidentally, I vow to conquer in the next twelve months), I hereby present:
The Official 3-D Big List of Resolutions for 2005
1) No more Courtney Love jokes.
2) E-mail Ms. Love; suggest that she adopt same resolution.
3) Okay. NOW... no more Courtney Love jokes.
4) Ditto Janet Jackson.
5) Ditto Michael Jackson.
6) In case they crop up, resist jokes about Marlon, Jackie, Tito and Jermaine.
Ditto Alan, Jesse, Glenda, Scoop and Andrew.
7) Okay. NOW... no more Jackson
jokes.
8) Although technically, since those last four have nothing to do with
music, they are not germane.
9) Then again, neither are Michael, Marlon, Jackie,
or Tito.
10) Okay. NOW. I really mean it this time.
11) Continue to come up with extra list items in order to avoid lawsuits from
the Letterman people. One more of these oughta do it.
12) Have set of gold Crunk
teeth made for upcoming byline photo. Check it check it, Crunk is happenin',
dawg.
Now, back to my ELP album marathon. "We're so glad you could attend / Come inside, come inside..."
